Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
