I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
