I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
