I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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