Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize