K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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