I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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