Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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