i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
