4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
