found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
