What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
