am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
