And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
