Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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