Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
