She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm both gender and math confused
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
