Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
