So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
