Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
