Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish i was in the wii world.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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