I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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