apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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