my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
