So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
