I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
