wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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