Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
