I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
