Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize