I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
