I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You took a bar mat shot.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
