naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I could fuck to npr.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
