i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
