There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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