There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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