Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize