So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
