he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
