The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
