I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize