who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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