i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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