So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
