your parents love me but you hate me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
