you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
