Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
