What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize