You smell like stripper and shame
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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