Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
