were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
