she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
