On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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