Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
