bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
