But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
