My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
