I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
